Friday, October 30, 2015

The Jackass

Not long ago, I watched an internet video, which was all over facebook,
of an idiot who tricked his wife into thinking that he'd just tossed their
child over the balcony...

We all have different senses of humor.
I'll agree to that.
There are some, however, who really should have
their "joking license" revoked.

Such was the case with the guy who I'm dedicating and titling
this post in honor of.

A few years ago we had a client who called us about booking a cruise
(not unusual),
He wanted to propose to his girlfriend
(happens all the time).
Where it got weird was when he told one of our booking agents,
that he wanted to take out the ring and have it fall into the water.

The ring going into the water was a decoy, a fake - while the real ring was safely tucked into his jacket pocket.

Like I said, we all have a different sense of humor,
But this guy, in my opinion, just really didn't get it.
He really thought it would be the height of hilarity
to have his fiancée-to-be...have a panic attack as she watched
her engagement ring fly into the deep blue waters of Lake Las Vegas.

Oh yeah, desperate hopelessness is just what every girl dreams of
when she envisions her storybook engagement.

I know what you're thinking:
Why the heck didn't someone try and talk this guy out of it?!
        Believe me, we did try.

And who does this kind of thing anyway?!
        You'd be surprised, we've had a few of these jokers - sometimes
they want to tie a fishing line to the actual ring and drop IT in the water,
only to fish it out. 
These guys DO exist.
I imagine they are the same guys who keep the practical joke industry running strong - squirting flowers, handshake buzzers, fake vomit,
flaming bags of dog poop on your doorstep.
Yes, it was funny, in 6th grade, but if you're about to pop the question,
I think maybe it's time to learn when and when not to act like a jackass.
Asking for her hand in marriage?
Not the time.

Just to put a point on it, I'll give an analogy.
In the event that some guy, who thought it would be funny to do the whole ring-over-the-side gag, has googled it and come upon my blog,
here's what it would be like to receive the equivalent practical joke:

Suppose you love Corvettes, have since you were a kid.
You've always wanted one. A red one. 
It's been the one goal, dream, sign that you'd made it.
Some guys want a Rolex, but you've always wanted that Corvette.
You spent the last fifteen years of your adult life working hard,
investing wisely, and watching the market.
Finally, it's time.
You find the perfect car - the one that matches all your criteria.
You put down more money than you've ever paid for a vehicle, but it's the dream, it's the car, it's the Corvette you've wanted since childhood.

Knowing this is a big deal for you,
your wife sees the opportunity to have a little fun.
She finds an old corvette body at a scrap yard, buys it,
and paints it up to look just like the one you've ordered.
She calls you to tell you that the Corvette has arrived!
They delivered it to the house and it'll be parked at the curb in front of your house when you get home!
You make your way home, and just as you turn onto your street,
you see the car, all shiny and perfect.
Then, a huge garbage truck drives past you, banks hard at the turn,
and crashes into the red corvette in front of your house!
Then your wife runs out the front door of the house laughing hysterically at the look on your face.
"Oh, that was so funny! You should have seen the look on your face. It's ok, the real Corvette is in the garage."

See, wasn't that just hilarious?
Now consider the storybook imaginings of a girl, since she was very young,
that one day her Prince Charming would surprise her with the perfectly
romantic marriage proposal.
He would be a gentleman, get down on one knee,
say just the right words in just the right way.
Everything would be in soft focus.
Her dream would come true.

The next time your reservation line rings,
and it's a guy with this "hilarious idea",
Do the world a favor and talk that jackass out of completely
ruining a great moment.

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