Striped Shirt Ambassadors

I always get a kick out of walking through a grocery store
in my gondolier's uniform.

The looks you get are priceless.

There are the people who try not to stare
(or try not to let you see them staring),
then there's the guy who cracks a "Where's Waldo" joke.
Folks ask if you're on your way to a costume party,
or if you do singing telegrams.

"Clean-up on aisle five, and it looks like we've got another gondolier

in the yogurt section.  Get a mop and some pesticide."

I like to tell them:
"Lots of people have work uniforms - mine is just a bit more festive".
It can be fun going out in public dressed as a gondolier.

Ah, but there's another side to it:
What about when you're not having a good day?
The truth is that if you can be identified as a member of a "group"
then you are a representative of that group.
It doesn't matter if you're wearing a work uniform or a team jersey.
Even an accent can tell people that you're from a particular place.

Some of you might not like this,
but I'm not a fan of the Oakland Raiders football team.
It has nothing to do with the team...and everything to do with their fans.
The ones driving - with the big window stickers on their vehicles - do not represent their favorite team in a civilized way.
The ones walking around in Raiders jackets and jerseys are often
either gang members or they act like they are.

Sorry Oakland. 
You might have a great football team,
but some of your fans need a lesson in manners.

I could go into a similar rant about owners of black BMWs,
but there's not enough room for it in this post
(and their behavior speaks for itself).

I knew a guy who ran an auto parts delivery service.
One of his drivers cut off a nice old lady on the road a while back.
The nice old lady had a cell phone, and dialed the number on his bumper
(you know, the "how am I driving?" number)
When the driver got back to the shop, he didn't know what hit him,
and was summarily fired (after all the yelling was over).

Gondolier road courtesy should look like this:

 

Not like this:

And whatever you do, DON'T do this:

Photos and video by Isabella Mohr.

Special thanks to Steve Atkins for helping me with video editing.

No matter where you go, and what you do,
you are a representative of someone.
Sorry to say that many of my American brothers and sisters have given
the rest of us a less-than-stellar reputation as they've traveled the world
(often in an loud and entitled way).
Our white socks and loud voices alone give us away.
Expecting people on the other side of the world to speak our language
and serve us food the way we like it makes us all look bad.

All of us gondoliers, when we are wearing our stripes, are representatives
of the company we row for, and gondoliers in general.

So be nice on the dock, but be nice in the parking lot too.
We are all "striped shirt ambassadors"

This also goes for your social media presence.
If you choose to make your online presence crass, dirty, or even overtly political, you'll want to make sure it doesn't also represent your place of employment in some way.

Several years ago I had an employee who expressed his own personal opinion on a political issue on an internet chat platform.
No problem there - we are all entitled to our own beliefs,
and I am a big believer in honest conversations on issues that affect us.
The problem arose when someone got very angry with what he said,
and then called my office to yell at someone.
How did they know to call us?
This employee had my company as his listed place of employment and had gondolier photos as well.
To make matters worse, his comment got picked up by the local newspaper's online discussion of the issue.

This graphic started popping up in various places, and it shows how athletic programs are checking potential recruits.
Some guys just don't get it.

 

In person, on the road, and even online...manners matter.

 

So the next time you're running late for work, and you're flying down the road in your striped shirt, think about how you might be representing the company you row for, the gondola business in general, and our beloved Venezia.

 

Not everyone you annoy on the road or in other places will draw conclusions, but some of them will.

And remember that the closer you get to the docks,

the more likely it is that the people in the car in front of you...

 

might just be your passengers.

 

Ridiculous Yelping

Kansas City
I recently discovered a funny and yet disturbing story about a ridiculous Yelp review and the response it received.
Funny, because of the way the business owner responded to it.
Disturbing, because of the way the reviewer saw things.  
Quite obviously, the reviewer and her husband feel that the universe revolves around them, and they are the "magnificent exceptions".
Woman Leaves Bad Online Review, 
The Owner Finds Out And Responds

If that link doesn't work, try this one:
http://themetapicture.com/woman-leaves-bad-online-review/

These folks clearly hadn't even checked to see if their requests were within the restaurant's guidelines.  As I was reading this account, it became clear that they wanted what they wanted, and that was that.
A sort of "don't bother me with the facts" mindset.

In dealing with a business, it seems that there are two ways that reviewers look at things:
"I'll check out their product or experience and receive it in the way the proprietor intends it."
Or - "I'll walk in, act like I own the place, and tell everyone working there how to do their jobs."

Yes, I do realize that I'm painting with a big brush here, 
but hyperbole is the best tool to make my point.
There are some Yelpers out there who seem to only speak in hyperbole.

Mr. Feng Shui
Recently we had a review that reminded me of this.
The client had come in with obvious visions of how our business should be, and was so focused on his own ideas...that he missed the experience we'd prepared for him.

He began his review by telling us (and the rest of the world) that we needed a cushy waiting area.
have a receiving / reception area where you can wait for your gondola; leather love seats with some feng shui (trickling water, fountain, nice foliage, maybe calming music, and magazines to read).

Mhmm, I'll get right on it.
For over twenty years we've had our gondoliers meet their passengers on the dock.  This allows them to make sure that any surprises go off without a hitch.  
Put your unsuspecting loved one in a waiting area for a gondola business, and your all-important surprise will trickle away like that feng shui fountain.

But since this guy has opened my mind to the possibilities:
of buying leather furniture,
investing in water fountains and ficus trees,
renting more space from my landlord,
and paying more staff to oversee this whole "waiting experience".
I'll run, not walk, to grab my checkbook.
Instead of pumping in "calming music" electronically, perhaps I should just hire a cellist or even a string quartet.

This guy doesn't want a gondola cruise, he's confused my business with some sort of new age spa.

Or worse:
I drove a friend to see their therapist today,

 As I sat there in the waiting area, I slowly realized that I was in exactly the environment this guy had described.


Why was this waiting area so important?
Instead we walked onto a small dock with a bunch of other covered boats and no one was around to greet\receive.  Once the boat arrived we awkwardly tried to stay clear of the couple returning from their ride to not kill the mood for them. 
Of course when we saw this review, my staff and I went in to full Crime-Scene-Investigation mode.

As it turned out, the author of this review arrived early, and instead of patiently waiting (as he had been instructed to do when booking), 
he and his date walked past a swing-gate and several signs that said things like "no admittance".
It's not surprising that they ended up on the dock as the earlier cruise showed up.
I am surprised that he didn't have the time to check his watch, 
but took plenty of time to write such an authoritative critique.

Checking My Seats
The next chapter in his review was dedicated to how comfortable the seats were in the gondola. This boat has been in service for 17 years.  We have never heard a peep about the comfort level of the seats.  
I personally made sure they were as comfortable as possible when they were re-upholstered a year and a half ago.

Caution: hyperbole alert!
The reviewer chose to compare the seats in my gondola to those of the Metrolink train - and according to his review, the Metrolink seats were more comfortable.

I was dumbfounded.

I read the review, grabbed my car keys, walked out of my house, drove down to the docks, and at about 1:30 in the morning, I climbed into that gondola to make sure that there wasn't some sort of major upholstery malfunction going on. No problems there.

He had also taken issue with the angle of the backrest.
No problems there either. No complaints there, ever, until this guy blessed my boat with his enlightened presence.

The client was not remarkably tall, 
and yet complained about legroom - I don't know why.

And according to the expert, my table was "fixed", when in reality, 
it slides fore and aft quite conveniently.
Understand that there are a few "professional complainers" in my life, 
and if they've never complained about this gondola, 
in my mind, she passes the test.

Disneyland? Really?
Ah, but he saved his best advice for last:
let the gondoliers wear contemporary formal rather than cheesy black and white striped shirts with a red sash...this isn't Disneyland.
Yeah, he went there.

He went on to pick apart a few of our cruising traditions, speaking like a true expert on the subject.

Much attention was given to the fact that "We're not in Italy" 
and he took issue with the fact that his gondolier said things like  
"in Italy it's tradition to..."

I can't help but wonder if when this guy goes out for Chinese food, 
if he schools them on how they're not in China, so maybe they should just call it "food" rather than misrepresent it by referring to it as "Chinese food".
Heck, I wonder if he might stand up in the audience during a Shakespeare play and tell the actors to cut it out "cause we're not in Stratford, England!"

Like most of my friends in this great business, 
we strive to give our customers a "great escape".  
It's one part Newport Beach, 
one part Venice, Italy, 
and the rest is tailored to meet specific needs 
such as making sure she says "yes" 
or someone has a great birthday or anniversary.

Mr. "We're not in Italy" looked right past all that, 
and instead chose to tell us all the ways we're doing it wrong.

Trust the Experts
Whether you're talking to a butcher, a barber, or a garage mechanic, 
unless you're an expert in meats, haircuts, or engines - there's a good chance the guy you're talking to knows more than you do on the subject.
He may in fact be more than just a professional.
He might just be a passionate fanatic in the field of work that he's chosen - that's certainly the case for nearly all gondola company owners I know. 

In my previous post "Getting Yelped" I touched on the topic of "reviewing by the masses" which is really what this is. 
Anybody can review.
Experts, idiots, objective compassionate thinkers, 
and self-absorbed blowhards.

As a business owner you have no control over what is said about your establishment.  As an extension, waiters, cashiers, and yes, gondoliers - also have no control over what is said online.
Fortunately, most people who review my business have had nothing but positive things to say, and that has helped us quite a lot.

But even so, just this past week I found myself on the phone with a guy who was considering hiring my service for his proposal.

Guess what he asked about...
"Are the seats comfortable?"
"Why doesn't the table move?"
And "why don't you have a waiting area?"
Unbelievable.

One review, by a guy with his own strong opinions, who in my mind fancies himself as the next great critic of all things gondola, and I'm on the phone assuring someone that everything will be alright and that his proposal won't suffer because of these supposed seat, table, and waiting area issues.

A bad Yelp review is like a bad rumor:
doesn't matter if it's true or not - once it's out there, it's out there.
When I was a kid someone told me that gossip was like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube.  
Once it's out, you really can't get it all back in the tube.

We're Missing a Button
When you look at a Yelp review, you'll notice a few things at the bottom of the review.
There's a little piece of text asking "was this review..."
and then there are three buttons to choose from:
"useful", "funny", and "cool".
There's no thumbs up/thumbs down option, no button options that say that it was "not useful" or worse.
Sure, there's an option to flag a review, but in many cases the flagging options don't apply.
What about "funny?" It seems like Yelpers are encouraged to not only be reviewers, but comedians as well (sometimes at our expense).

It seems to me that if we are now stuck with being "reviewed by the masses", that the masses ought to be able to also rate some of these reviews.
Proprietors have the option to respond to reviews in writing, but what if other people could rate existing reviews a little more realistically?

My wife suggested to me that Yelp should add a button that says 
"you're an idiot"
She's Italian with parents from New York.  She doesn't mince words.

Although I tend to be more of a diplomat than my wife, on this point I agree.
In fact I might suggest that Yelp also add a few more buttons:
"Really?!"
"Go home - you're drunk"
and "Step away from the keyboard!"

Getting "Yelped"

photo by Cassandra Mohr

 First Impression

When Yelp first entered my world, I saw it in the same way I saw Facebook.
Before the world all picked up and moved their lives into this new network of friends, Facebook was just "something the kids were into".

With Yelp, people who didn't seem to matter to anyone other than those within their circle were discovering this new way to feel important,
and began fancying themselves as restaurant critics.

The way it was first explained to me:
"it's a fun way to tell your friends and other foodies about great unknown restaurants and other gems".

A Change in Dynamics
At some point it became more relevant. 
We started to notice that clients were choosing our service based on reviews they read on Yelp, TripAdvisor, and a few other online sources.

Yelp and it's travel-oriented cousin TripAdvisor were becoming the new Zagat.

For the longest time, customers only had three options when it came to recommending or recourse:
     1. hire that service again...or not.
     2. tell their friends about a company...or not.
     3. take that company to court.

In many ways, the customer was under-equipped to respond to poor service.  Unless you wanted to take someone to small claims court
(and had a solid reason to), you would be left with frustration.

Here's the phrase we've all heard before:
                                 the internet changed everything.

As a gondola operation, we found that our focus was shifting - leaning more and more towards encouraging good reviews, and doing everything we could to avoid bad ones.

A New Kind of Stress
Not long ago I found myself in the waiting area of a local Claim Jumper restaurant.  I was there with extended family, so we had a decent sized group.
The wait was annoyingly long. Unfortunately nobody had made reservations, so there was nothing to do but wait, get more hungry, and wonder when one of the other large groups would wrap things up and vacate so we could be seated.

Right there, in view of the hostess desk, there were two large tables with about twenty-five patrons.  Because we were waiting for them or someone like them to finish up, I was irritated that they had clearly finished eating long ago but were in no hurry to leave.  Realistically they had no reason to do so, and if I'd been in their group, I'm sure I'd have shared their desire to stay.
It was a dragonboat racing team, they'd just competed in a race and were out celebrating their experience.

Unfortunately though, I wasn't the only one bothered by their presence.
You see, their two tables were in the center of a room, but there were about ten other smaller tables and booths in that room, and the loud partylike noise coming from the dragonboat people was overwhelming. 
Some of the folks at other tables looked like they'd gotten stuck on a plane with a bunch of loud drunk fraternity brothers.

What does this have to do with Yelp?
As I sat there, I watched the dragonboaters, then the people at other tables, and then the manager - who was stuck in an unenviable position.
He could scold or shoo out the large party, and risk one or more bad online reviews, or he could do nothing and expect similar write-ups from the other patrons.

This sort of thing happens every day in businesses near and far, and it's not just restaurants. Hardware stores, plumbers, barber shops, pool cleaners.

I feel bad for businesses that sell things:
someone brings in an obviously used product to get a refund on, and a store owner is forced to choose between the loss of the purchase money or the potential greater loss associated with a bad online review.

photo by Kierlyn Densham

A New Kind of Weapon
This new ability to review is a two-edged sword.
There are many examples out there of crooked businesses being reported on review sites.  Some get with the program, others either suffer or shut down - unwilling to recognize their errors.

But there are also countless examples of businesses that have been unfairly targetted because someone was having a bad day and didn't like the temperature of their soup, or a new employee made a slight mistake for the first time and it rubbed someone the wrong way.

And then there are the darker scenarios:
one business trying to torpedo another,
or a customer feeling like they need to take out their wrath on someone without first trying to talk to the manager or owner.

In a way, this new technology can be compared to a sniper rifle - and not all who are given the rifle use it responsibly.

Permanence
What happens in Vegas may stay in Vegas,
but what happens on the internet is often there forever.
Barring a global power blackout, bad reviews will always be accessible to us.

Sadly, people seem more motivated to go online and criticize than give praise.  Unless someone is a habitual Yelper, they really need to be amazed to go out of their way to say that they had a great experience.

It's understandable, I guess:
the drive to warn others of a bad service experience may seem more urgent than to tell others about someone who's providing a good experience.

photo by Cassandra Mohr

Extortion
There really is no better word to use in describing some of the things I've witnessed since people have discovered the power they can wield with this new weapon. 
I've seen people put up a bad review and then sit back and wait for the phone to ring.  I've seen small business owners, who work hard for every dollar, have to turn around and cough up hundreds, if not thousands of those dollars to a customer who's holding a bad review over their head. 
Sure there are times when a bad review is deserved, but then there are those opportunists out there who are not in any organized crime syndicate, but have still figured out a way to collect "protection money".

Now You See it, Now You Don't

As if the Yelp gods have nothing better to do, on several occasions I've seen excellent five-star reviews magically disappear a few days after they went up.  This is maddening; we work hard to provide an excellent experience,

and encourage our clients to submit reviews, only to have the good ones dematerialize for no reason I can surmise.

This usually happens to reviewers who have only done a few reviews, or who are first-time reviewers. It may have something to do with filtering out fakers, but it's not a good way to encourage folks to participate, and when I see a great review, that I know is legitimate, it's downright unfair.

For the record, I've yet to see poor reviews disappear in this mysterious way.

Power to the People...Whoever They Are

For the longest time it seemed that the general public had little power to tell the world about their experiences, and share their opinions on things.

Now we're seeing the opposite of that; the pendulum has swung hard in the other direction. The power is in the people's hands, but it sure looks like a "careful what you wish for" scenario.

Unless you know the person who wrote a particular review, there's no way to determine their levels of honesty, taste, or their mental state. 

There's no way to know if they have an agenda.  With the standard reviewing model, the reviewer would have to answer for a bad call.   

Not so in this case.

Not Just Happening Here

I ran this piece by my wife to get her thoughts, and was surprised to learn that she'd just read another report on a similar angle, but from the UK.

The Telegraph's writer, Alex Proud has some compelling thoughts on how the "reviewing by the masses" has changed things.

Read "TripAdvisor is democracy for the stupid" - it's an excellent piece,

filled with gems of wisdom. 

If I Could Ask One Thing

For better or worse, I predict that "reviewing by the masses" is here to stay.

As a business owner, if I could ask one thing of the "reviewing public",

it would be this:

Let your positive be quick, and your negative be mature.

I encourage you to take a few minutes immediately after a positive experience - and reward good service. Many businesses turn around and reward their employees if they are named in a five-star review.

If it's a win-win situation, don't put off reviewing.

In the case of a negative experience, don't hastily throw a bad review up for all to see, til the end of time.  Go to the owner or manager first to try and resolve something.  Believe me - nine times out of ten, they want the opportunity to fix something immediately.  Don't be afraid to have that conversation - it's what mature adults do. Walking away and retaliating in secret is childish, and sometimes even cowardly.

 photo by Cassandra Mohr

If you are reading this, and you're a business owner,

I wish you nothing but great reviews. 

If you are a gondola operator (even one who competes with me)

I also wish you nothing but great reviews.

It does none of us any good if there's a gondola business out there

making us all look bad. 

On the same note, it doesn't help any of us if someone who fancies

themselves a critic - is representing our business poorly.
--------------------------------------------------------------

For further reading on the subject, check out "Ridiculous Yelping".

Must Love Dogs

photos by Isabella Mohr

The first time I stepped on the back of a gondola was in 1993.
Back then we rarely had anyone ask if they could bring a dog on the boat.
Almost without fail we would say "no".

It was always in a nice way, but with the exception of seeing-eye dogs,
we upheld a no animals policy.  
As I write this, it occurs to me that I've known many dogs who were more
well-behaved than people, and I've definitely had my share of passengers
who's behaviour wasn't fit to be compared with that of a noble dog.

It wasn't that we had anything against dogs, Heck, I worked with
sled dogs when I lived in Alaska - I love dogs. 
This was just an issue of wear and tear - many of our boats at the time had varnished mahogony floors, which we worried about getting scratched.

While it wasn't often, people did ask, and it was usually a larger dog.
They weren't put off when we said their dog couldn't come, and that was that.

Well, times have changed.
In the past few years we've gotten more requests than we did twenty years ago.  People were surprised that we said "no", and were either irritated or determined to change our minds on the subject.

We started asking about the dog:
How big? Is he or she well behaved? Is the dog house-trained?
After all, I can't have anyone (human or canine) peeing in my gondola.

I've also been seeing a lot more small dogs, even, dare I say "purse dogs" these days.

Our stance on dogs is beginning to change.
Of course it's in the interest of commerce, but also because I recognize a shift on a much deeper level:
Dogs are the new children.

It may be a bold statement, and I'm not sure I like or agree with it,
but more and more it is the case.

I could try to soften the statement by saying that "dogs are being welcomed more as true family members" but really, in many cases they are taking the place of children. 
Fewer couples are having children early in marriage, choosing instead to add one or two dogs to the family.  This seems to resonate with single women, career-minded double-income couples, and it's especially popular with couples who've moved in together, but not yet taken vows.

To a degree, the dog is a trial run at parenting.
A dog is also fun for young couples who are active and like to go running, hiking or camping.

We've had many clients express to us that "the marriage proposal just won't be the same" if their dog isn't there to be part of it.

I still have concerns about any of the breeds that are known for their slobbering, and really, I also think that any dog that is famous for jumping into the water to retrieve ducks could present some problems, but just like trucks - dogs sure seem to like getting out on the water in a boat.
I see them all the time on the harbor in private boats - most of the time they look like they're having more fun than the humans who brought them aboard.

So for these and many other reasons, it's my opinion that a gondola operator in this day and age must love dogs, or at least pretend to...might even want to invest in a nice dog-friendly rug for the floor of the boat, or at least assemble a collection of old towels to throw on the floorboards for those canine passengers.

I haven't opened it up for discussion here on the blog in a while,
but I'm curious to hear the thoughts and opinions of my fellow gondola operators and gondoliers.

What do you all think?

Do you love dogs?

Do you welcome them on board your boats?

Do you find it a relevant issue these days?

Here are a few interesting pieces on the subject:
More young women choosing dogs over motherhood

Dogs are the new kids

Dogs are the new kids - what's the cost of pampering your pooch?

The March of the Mussels

The concern over two invasive species of mussels continues in different parts of the US.Here's a story that came out last week :
http://www.weather.com/news/TEST-mussels-invasive-environment-west-20120710

And in case you think that "a few little mussels aren't worth the fuss", take a look at some of the images in this link:
http://www.weather.com/news/TEST-mussels-invasive-environment-west-20120710

For some backstory on this, see my posts: "Zebra Mussels in California"
and a detailed account of my experience hauling a boat from Nevada into California:"Zebra and Quagga Mussels".

Tips on Trailering

In my Newport Beach gondola operation, I have eight boats, and for all but one week out of the year, I've got only seven gondolas in the water.
It's a slow rotation; we always have one boat out of the water for maintenance.
One week each year I have all boats in the water - that week of course,
is the one surrounding Valentine's Day.

Yesterday, after lots of work, I trailered a gondola out of the service yard, and parked her near the launch ramp so I could add her to the fleet this morning.
It's been almost twenty years now that I've been "messing around with boats" in this manner, and while the trailering thing is nothing new,
it's always taken seriously.

Here are a few thoughts I felt like sharing on the subject of trailering a gondola.

STRAP
strap the boat down.
You might think you're the exception. 
You might think that there's no reason for you to worry about the boat moving around on the trailer, after all, there are no stop signs,
traffic lights and no obstacles between you and that ramp. 
Murphy's Law applies to people just like you
(I should know, Murphy is practically my middle name!).

Strap the boat down anyway - when a cat, squirrel, fox, kid with a ball,
or idiot in a Toyota enters your path unceremoniously - you'll be thankful you strapped the boat down...as she won't come through the back window and join you in the front seat when you have to slam on your brakes.

I prefer to place the straps with the ratchet-buckles on the left side of the boat so I can see them in my rear view mirror better.
It should also be mentioned that if you don't strap the boat down,
you will likely have a hard time explaining to the nice officer who pulls you over, that you are the exception - you're not, and he will tell you so.

HANG
Make sure your stern isn't hanging too far off the back of the trailer,
and if it is, hang a flag or other attention-getter off the tail. 
Your boat will thank you, and so will the guy driving behind you.
Also, if you are crossing state lines, check to see if the overhang requirements are different in the state you're driving into.

On the subject of overhang, leave your gondola hanging too far off the back of the trailer for too long, and let's just say that "bad things" can happen.

SMILE
Smile as you drive. Smile at the folks at traffic lights,
smile to the people looking and pointing from the sidewalk,
and definitely smile at the curious policeman who pulls alongside you on his motorcycle.
Smile, and he might not be as likely to pull you over.
Then again, smile too much and he'll call for back-up.

As you drive around with that beautiful boat in tow, folks will be looking. 
Smile and they might just go out of their way to look up your business and book a cruise with you.

FLASH
Flash your hazard lights to make sure the tail lights work on your trailer.
It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of trailering and forget to connect the lights.

Chances are good that anyone sharing the road with you will be so interested in your boat that they won't need to rely on your brake lights,
but Murphy has a wicked way of capitolizing on such situations.

CHESS
Anyone who has spent time playing chess competetively, has a brain that's already wired to drag a trailer. 
Sadly I got my butt kicked in checkers, never really played chess,  
and that was that. 
Navigating with a trailer was something I had to learn to do.
Like chess, this kind of driving requires you to "think five moves ahead".

You don't just turn onto a street without first determining:
whether it is wide enough for you and your trailer,
that it doesn't dead-end,
and isn't going to lead you into a dangerous or challenging piece of road.

Driving carefully ought to be a given, but sometimes we get a little carried away, in an "I got this" kind of manner.  Here's what happened to one such guy:
"Bad Things Happen - Part 2 - Dropping and Dragging" see the "Transit Tragedy" part.

Thinking ahead doesn't just apply to the driving part; you must also think ahead with other things.
For instance, a week before you're going to trailer, hook up the lights and make sure they work.  Time is on your side at that point, but if you wait until the day of, you might discover a problem and decide to just go without lights.
Chess, my friends, chess.
While I'm at it, make sure you've brought everything you'll need to accomplish the goal - including a full tank of gas!

HITCH
It's amazing what you can forget to bring.
Today, I'm sorry to say, my adventures were stalled because I was missing a small but important item, one that connects the vehicle to the trailer.
Sure, I suppose I could have just chained the two things together and skidded down the road, but I think the men-on-motorcycles with ticket books would have had a field day with that.
Better to wait while someone goes and gets the wayward piece of hardware.
Mhmm, insert your favorite chess vs. checkers wisecrack here.

BARF
B.A.R.F. stands for "bring a real friend", and in many cases you won't need one, but when you do...you do!

Sometimes you need to lift something that takes two people.
Sometimes you need a friend to stop traffic while you back out of that alley you shouldn't have turned into (ask that friend to help you learn to play chess later).
Often you need a friend to guide you as you line your vehicle up to connect with the trailer.
I like to have my friend follow directly behind me to keep an eye on things.
In some traffic scenarios, having a friend who can shoot ahead of you to help facilitate a critical lane change can save you a lot of grief.

CONE
John Kerschbaum likes to say:
"better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it".

There are times when having a simple item with you can make a huge difference.
Duct tape certainly fits that description sometimes.
When trailering, I always have a traffic cone with me.
Most of the time I don't need it, but it's helped me more than once:
Finding a parking spot for vehicle and trailer is hard enough,
getting into that spot can be even more difficult sometimes. 
Now imagine you've been away for twenty minutes and some jerk has parked his black BMW six inches from your front bumper and there's a truck behind you that doesn't look like it's moved in three months.
Yes, I know your first thought - it's the same as mine,
and while it may feel gratifying at the time, 
four-wheeling over the rear quarter of the BMW will probably cause more problems than it's worth.

If you'd placed a traffic cone five to ten feet in front of your vehicle,
you'd probably come back to find it right where you left it.
It's a funny thing about traffic cones - nobody wants to move them once they're placed.

If you have several cones, you might even get away with saving a spot for your vehicle and trailer - this doesn't always work though. 
If you show up and there's a police officer holding your cones,
when he asks if they're yours, say "no..."
(because he appears to own them now),
"but I sure could use a few cones if you're looking to get rid of them".

There are several other uses for a traffic cone while trailering but I'll let you explore that on your own.

TRUCK
learn some of the trucking protocols. 
You might not think you're like the 18-wheel rigs you share the highway with, but there are many similarities.
And as you motor down the road, with drivers rudely cutting in front of you (because they don't want to get stuck behind you), you'll gain a better understanding of what it's like to drive a big-rig, and people can be downright mean to you. 
There are behavioral courtesies among truckers too, but they are noticeably nicer. If you flick your lights and allow a guy in an 18-wheeler to change into your lane in front of you, he will likely tap his brakes twice - it's a sort of "thank you".  Ten miles down the road, he may offer you the same courtesy.  Drive something that long, and you'll begin to appreciate every friend you find on the road.

EAT
Eat with the boat in view.
If you're going long distance, and need to stop and grab a bite to eat,
try to park the gondola where you can see it.  These boats are like attention magnets - from curious kids to crazy drunk fraternity brothers, everyone seems to want to investigate.

DRESS
Dress for the occasion.
Be ready to get dirty, wet, and make sure you've got the kind of footwear necessary for the various tasks you'll need to accomplish.
I once had to change a flat tire on my car while on my way to a wedding.
No, I was not dressed for the challenge, and it took a lot more care and skill to do what I needed to do in my crisp white dress shirt.
I managed to get it done, stay clean, and arrived just in time...to perform the ceremony.

Sometimes you've got to get your feet wet,
sometimes you've got to go in up to your knees or waist,
and sometimes you've just got to fully commit.
Empty your pockets.
Bring a towel.
You may not be planning on getting wet,
but sometimes Mr. Murphy has other plans for us.

Oh, and if you're launching in cold conditions, expect the worst and bring an extra layer.

SLICK
I grew up in a waterskiing family, and my uncle had a saying that my cousins and I loved:
"This rock is slicker than snot on a doornob!"
He would say that and we'd just laugh like crazy.
Of course we were very young, but if I heard him say it again today,
I'd probably still laugh out loud.  As a matter of course, there always seems to be a slick surface around a boat launch area, and I always seem to find it (often by accident).
Watch your step, or you'll know what i know from experience:
it really IS "slicker than snot on a doorknob".

Lastly, watch out for those slick surfaces with your vehicle,
otherwise you might just end up launching more than just your gondola!

---------------

Once you're done with your trailer, if you leave it empty, lock it up!
I lost one a few years back and don't want to see that happen again,
to anyone.
(see the post "Lock Up Your Boat Trailers" )

Getting My Nickel Back

If you operate a gondola, pretty much anywhere in the world, chances are good that at the end of most cruises you find at least one empty bottle on board. 

It could be wine, champagne, sparkling cider, or even sake.

Some servizios provide their passengers with refreshment, while others take more of a BYOB approach. 

Heck, the passengers may have smuggled it aboard. 

I'm not here to talk about where these bottles come from, this is about where they are going once they become empty.

I'm also not going to talk about what should be done with a half-full bottle left on the boat (but if it's a good chianti, and you don't want it - feel free to bring it to my house).

If you are looking for a long expose on going green and saving the planet, that's also not gonna happen here.  The internet is already brimming with op-eds on how important it is to re-use our resources.  As much as I agree with all the philosophical concerns about recycling,

I tend to look at things from a more practical angle.

Practical, and some might even say "miserly".

Bottom line:

I want my dang nickel back!

"What's that?" you say.

"Nickel?"

Every time my company buys non-alcoholic beverages to serve on board our cruises, we pay the purchase price, plus a deposit.

In many cases it's about five cents per bottle.

here in California it's known as "California redemtion value".

You'll see "CRV" on most mainstream recyclable items in this state.

I'm sure other states have more clever names for roughly the same thing:

you buy it,

pay extra for the material that the bottle is made of,

and get your deposit back...

if and when you turn in the empty container.

Did you catch that second part?

yes, you pay extra for the material that the bottle (or can) is made of.

I don't know about you, but I am NOT a fan of "paying extra".

All I can think of is that someone's got my nickel!

Miserly?    Yes.

Practical?    Also yes.

I've got to feed my kids,

and while a nickel doesn't buy dinner - a lot of nickels does.

My last trip to the recycling center yielded about thirty bucks;

well worth the trouble - especially in this economy.

Of course I throw in the empty bottles and cans my family generates as well,

and the job of sorting must be done before going to the recycling center.

Some items say that they can be recycled (like HDPE milk jugs), and there are new types of recyclable plastics hitting the market all the time, but many centers only handle the main categories:

glass, aluminum, and PET (water and soda bottle plastic).

Another thing to note is that wine bottles do not get you a deposit back

(at least not in California).

If you're strictly out for money, you can either skip the wine and champagne bottles or find a bulk recycling center.

I'm sure there's better money in it, but that the extra margin involves more work. 

For me, it's about keeping this as a "quick errand" so it's easy and worthwhile.

I still bring the wine bottles.

By the time I sort CRV containers from non-CRV ones, it's just as easy to throw them in the back of my truck as it is to chuck them in the trash.

The recycling center is happy to "pass them along" for me (for no deposit).

I don't know if they are actually getting something for them, I just know that I'd rather see the glass go back into the system than end up in a landfill somewhere.

Any business owner in this economy should be looking at every single opportunity to help fortify their bottom line.

Recycling may not be in your original business model,

but hey - someone's got your nickels.

Get 'em back!

If you're running a gondola operation, and not recycling,

you may be missing out on an opportunity.

"Environmental concerns",

"Going green",

"saving the planet",

or just keeping the place we live a bit more tidy.

We could talk about all of the above topics, but like I said, I tend to take a more brass tacks approach.

I want my nickel back.