Team Effort

photo by John Kerschbaum

Ivano and Amadeo of La Gondola in Providence, RI power through the Distance Tandem course during the 2014 U.S. Gondola Nationals.

Just the Photo - Phoenix in the Fall

photo by Candace Benson

 

A shot of my gondola The Phoenix here in Newport Beach.

Friday Night Done Right

On the eve of the U.S. Gondola Nationals, a few of us out-of-towners
showed up at the docks in Providence and spent some time visiting with our friends from La Gondola and getting acquainted with the boats we'd be competing on in the following two days.

Here's a shot of Richard Corbaley of Sunset Gondola heading out on a
passenger cruise with Adam “Ivano” Alves supervising
(yes, I did post this photo previously, but it's just such a great image that it deserves it's own post).

Gimme 20 Seconds

I don't allow paid advertising here on the Gondola Blog.
I don't ask anything of you, my beloved readers, but your curiosity,
as I post news, musings, and random and relevant photos.

Now I'm asking for about twenty seconds of your time.
My Daughter is "Moxy" of Moxy and the Influence.
She sang the national anthem at last year's U.S. Gondola Nationals,
and if I may say so - she rocks!

The band is in a contest to have one of their songs used in an upcoming movie.
All I need is a small effort and about twenty seconds of your time.
Another competitor is getting dangerously close to beating Moxy, so if you would be so kind, simply click on the link and like the post. https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=588379477955880&id=335731836553980

Ridiculous Yelping

Kansas City
I recently discovered a funny and yet disturbing story about a ridiculous Yelp review and the response it received.
Funny, because of the way the business owner responded to it.
Disturbing, because of the way the reviewer saw things.  
Quite obviously, the reviewer and her husband feel that the universe revolves around them, and they are the "magnificent exceptions".
Woman Leaves Bad Online Review, 
The Owner Finds Out And Responds

If that link doesn't work, try this one:
http://themetapicture.com/woman-leaves-bad-online-review/

These folks clearly hadn't even checked to see if their requests were within the restaurant's guidelines.  As I was reading this account, it became clear that they wanted what they wanted, and that was that.
A sort of "don't bother me with the facts" mindset.

In dealing with a business, it seems that there are two ways that reviewers look at things:
"I'll check out their product or experience and receive it in the way the proprietor intends it."
Or - "I'll walk in, act like I own the place, and tell everyone working there how to do their jobs."

Yes, I do realize that I'm painting with a big brush here, 
but hyperbole is the best tool to make my point.
There are some Yelpers out there who seem to only speak in hyperbole.

Mr. Feng Shui
Recently we had a review that reminded me of this.
The client had come in with obvious visions of how our business should be, and was so focused on his own ideas...that he missed the experience we'd prepared for him.

He began his review by telling us (and the rest of the world) that we needed a cushy waiting area.
have a receiving / reception area where you can wait for your gondola; leather love seats with some feng shui (trickling water, fountain, nice foliage, maybe calming music, and magazines to read).

Mhmm, I'll get right on it.
For over twenty years we've had our gondoliers meet their passengers on the dock.  This allows them to make sure that any surprises go off without a hitch.  
Put your unsuspecting loved one in a waiting area for a gondola business, and your all-important surprise will trickle away like that feng shui fountain.

But since this guy has opened my mind to the possibilities:
of buying leather furniture,
investing in water fountains and ficus trees,
renting more space from my landlord,
and paying more staff to oversee this whole "waiting experience".
I'll run, not walk, to grab my checkbook.
Instead of pumping in "calming music" electronically, perhaps I should just hire a cellist or even a string quartet.

This guy doesn't want a gondola cruise, he's confused my business with some sort of new age spa.

Or worse:
I drove a friend to see their therapist today,

 As I sat there in the waiting area, I slowly realized that I was in exactly the environment this guy had described.


Why was this waiting area so important?
Instead we walked onto a small dock with a bunch of other covered boats and no one was around to greet\receive.  Once the boat arrived we awkwardly tried to stay clear of the couple returning from their ride to not kill the mood for them. 
Of course when we saw this review, my staff and I went in to full Crime-Scene-Investigation mode.

As it turned out, the author of this review arrived early, and instead of patiently waiting (as he had been instructed to do when booking), 
he and his date walked past a swing-gate and several signs that said things like "no admittance".
It's not surprising that they ended up on the dock as the earlier cruise showed up.
I am surprised that he didn't have the time to check his watch, 
but took plenty of time to write such an authoritative critique.

Checking My Seats
The next chapter in his review was dedicated to how comfortable the seats were in the gondola. This boat has been in service for 17 years.  We have never heard a peep about the comfort level of the seats.  
I personally made sure they were as comfortable as possible when they were re-upholstered a year and a half ago.

Caution: hyperbole alert!
The reviewer chose to compare the seats in my gondola to those of the Metrolink train - and according to his review, the Metrolink seats were more comfortable.

I was dumbfounded.

I read the review, grabbed my car keys, walked out of my house, drove down to the docks, and at about 1:30 in the morning, I climbed into that gondola to make sure that there wasn't some sort of major upholstery malfunction going on. No problems there.

He had also taken issue with the angle of the backrest.
No problems there either. No complaints there, ever, until this guy blessed my boat with his enlightened presence.

The client was not remarkably tall, 
and yet complained about legroom - I don't know why.

And according to the expert, my table was "fixed", when in reality, 
it slides fore and aft quite conveniently.
Understand that there are a few "professional complainers" in my life, 
and if they've never complained about this gondola, 
in my mind, she passes the test.

Disneyland? Really?
Ah, but he saved his best advice for last:
let the gondoliers wear contemporary formal rather than cheesy black and white striped shirts with a red sash...this isn't Disneyland.
Yeah, he went there.

He went on to pick apart a few of our cruising traditions, speaking like a true expert on the subject.

Much attention was given to the fact that "We're not in Italy" 
and he took issue with the fact that his gondolier said things like  
"in Italy it's tradition to..."

I can't help but wonder if when this guy goes out for Chinese food, 
if he schools them on how they're not in China, so maybe they should just call it "food" rather than misrepresent it by referring to it as "Chinese food".
Heck, I wonder if he might stand up in the audience during a Shakespeare play and tell the actors to cut it out "cause we're not in Stratford, England!"

Like most of my friends in this great business, 
we strive to give our customers a "great escape".  
It's one part Newport Beach, 
one part Venice, Italy, 
and the rest is tailored to meet specific needs 
such as making sure she says "yes" 
or someone has a great birthday or anniversary.

Mr. "We're not in Italy" looked right past all that, 
and instead chose to tell us all the ways we're doing it wrong.

Trust the Experts
Whether you're talking to a butcher, a barber, or a garage mechanic, 
unless you're an expert in meats, haircuts, or engines - there's a good chance the guy you're talking to knows more than you do on the subject.
He may in fact be more than just a professional.
He might just be a passionate fanatic in the field of work that he's chosen - that's certainly the case for nearly all gondola company owners I know. 

In my previous post "Getting Yelped" I touched on the topic of "reviewing by the masses" which is really what this is. 
Anybody can review.
Experts, idiots, objective compassionate thinkers, 
and self-absorbed blowhards.

As a business owner you have no control over what is said about your establishment.  As an extension, waiters, cashiers, and yes, gondoliers - also have no control over what is said online.
Fortunately, most people who review my business have had nothing but positive things to say, and that has helped us quite a lot.

But even so, just this past week I found myself on the phone with a guy who was considering hiring my service for his proposal.

Guess what he asked about...
"Are the seats comfortable?"
"Why doesn't the table move?"
And "why don't you have a waiting area?"
Unbelievable.

One review, by a guy with his own strong opinions, who in my mind fancies himself as the next great critic of all things gondola, and I'm on the phone assuring someone that everything will be alright and that his proposal won't suffer because of these supposed seat, table, and waiting area issues.

A bad Yelp review is like a bad rumor:
doesn't matter if it's true or not - once it's out there, it's out there.
When I was a kid someone told me that gossip was like squeezing toothpaste out of a tube.  
Once it's out, you really can't get it all back in the tube.

We're Missing a Button
When you look at a Yelp review, you'll notice a few things at the bottom of the review.
There's a little piece of text asking "was this review..."
and then there are three buttons to choose from:
"useful", "funny", and "cool".
There's no thumbs up/thumbs down option, no button options that say that it was "not useful" or worse.
Sure, there's an option to flag a review, but in many cases the flagging options don't apply.
What about "funny?" It seems like Yelpers are encouraged to not only be reviewers, but comedians as well (sometimes at our expense).

It seems to me that if we are now stuck with being "reviewed by the masses", that the masses ought to be able to also rate some of these reviews.
Proprietors have the option to respond to reviews in writing, but what if other people could rate existing reviews a little more realistically?

My wife suggested to me that Yelp should add a button that says 
"you're an idiot"
She's Italian with parents from New York.  She doesn't mince words.

Although I tend to be more of a diplomat than my wife, on this point I agree.
In fact I might suggest that Yelp also add a few more buttons:
"Really?!"
"Go home - you're drunk"
and "Step away from the keyboard!"

First Snow in Minnesota

There's a patch of dry ground in Minnesota.

It's thirty-six feet long, and a little wider than two gondolas on trailers.

It has no snow on it because on top of that ground are John Kerschbaum's beautiful Venetian boats.

On top of those boats there are tarps - expertly tied and anchored by the gondolier who loves them.

And on top of those tarps, which are on top of the gondolas,

which are on top of trailers, on the ground...is the winter's first installment

of Minnesota snow.

John sent these photos, telling me:

I took my last gondola out of the water last Monday.

This week a snow storm hit.

I got them covered just in time.

living the dream!

Snow, on tarps, on gondolas, on ground...in John's yard.

He went on to tell me:

Saturday before I pulled the gondola out of the water,

it was 35 degrees and windy. This couple had a great time.

As you can see, John's couple has a great attitude.

They're not gonna let a little on-coming-winter ruin their fun.

Looking at the above photo, I'm reminded of a great old Swedish quote that John likes to use:

        There's no such thing as bad weather,

     only inappropriate clothing.

I have relatives who would heartily agree.

I understand that the day before pulling the gondola for the season,

it was a lot warmer with the sun shining.  Here's a snap from the back.

Of course all good things must come to an end (for the year, at least).

End-of-season hauling is a ritual of sorts.

John has great friends who are happy to lend a hand.

Here we see Donna getting a ride to the boat ramp.

Donna is a dear friend on mine. I call her my chosen sister.

Every spring and fall or when ever a gondola needs to be taken

in or out of the water Donna is there to help!

This time we did a car drop so Donna could enjoy being rowed 2 miles to the ramp.

Winds and currents are common on the St. Croix River.

It's not unusual for a gondola to be rowed by two gondoliers,

as was the case on this day.

My friend Rick rowing in the front.

Taking a selfy while waiting for the truck.

A good time was had by all.

John has a very interesting way of supporting that oar.

And as you can see, those Minnesotans know all about

choosing "appropriate clothing".

Keep livin' the dream, John.

We'll see you here in California for Valentine's Day.

Solo Distance - "Snapper" and Richie

If you were looking for a clever nickname for the solo or single distance race this year, I might suggest the "Tour de Providence" - because it included several of the various conditions that Providence gondoliers face while rowing.

photo by Cole Hanson

THE COURSE

The course began at the wide and windy open channel just above the Point Street bridge.  The starting line was marked by the still-existing foundations for the old Route 195 bridge, which was torn down - leaving five "walls" that sit in the channel like slots for a horserace.

Rowers pushed their way upriver through the wind and current.

Upon passing under the Crawford Street bridge, they entered tighter quarters as the course wound them further up the waterway.

With each bridge, the river became narrower until they reached the area where the slalom race was held.

Gondoliers turned at the same buoy as they did in the slalom,

and then headed back down the way they came.

SIDE-BY-SIDE

Perhaps another suitable name would be the

"Woonasquatucket Head-to-Head Challenge" - because they did all of this...rowing side-by-side (and yes, I do realize that's a funny name,

but I'll bet the .com for it is available).

The race was conducted in two-man heats. In some cases one rower gained a lead over the other and it wasn't as much of a drag race, but in other cases the two gondoliers were neck-and-neck for most of the race.

SNAPPER AND RICHIE

Such was the case with the race between Eric Bender (also known as "Enrico" or "The Snapper") from The Gondola Company in Coronado, CA. 

and Richard Corbaley ("Ricardo") from Sunset Gondola in Huntington Harbour, CA.

Last year these two crossed the line in 2nd and 3rd place - with Bender coming in 2nd and Corbaley in 3rd.

When they rowed out to the old bridge foundations this year,

everyone expected a real race, and they got one.

photo by Cole Hanson

They come from different servizios, and yet because of all the social interaction on the West Coast (thanks Tim),

they know each other and are friends.

Everyone at the U.S. Gondola Nationals is competitive and yet professional.

In fact, when I talked to Richie, one of the very first things he said about that race was "It was a pleasure to race against Eric".

He went on to say "Last year I didn’t get much of a chance to get to know him, but this year we all got to spend time in camaraderie."

THE FIRST HALF

I spoke with Eric about the course. He said:

"It surprised me how heavy the river current was, and it was really shallow right at the starting place – we both had to choke up a lot to row – I was worried about getting the boat moving there."

San Diego gondoliers are no stranger to wind, but fighting against an outgoing current as well was a new challenge for Eric.

"Richie started to get ahead 24 strokes into it – I decided to play it smart and back off a bit."

Not long after that the two fell into a rhythm, rowing next to each other.

I asked Richie what the race was like: "Eric and I were in constant communication, giving each other space, shooting the breeze".

They worked together as they navigated up towards the turning point.

The two boats were side-by-side for most of that time.

Things changed towards the top of the course:

"A boat stalled in front of me and that was when Eric got the lead,

but by the time we turned the corner, I was right on his stern."

Eric had moved over so Richie could move past the stalled boat. If not for that last-minute adjustment, we might have seen a "do-over" of the race.

After the turn, Eric began to pick up the pace, and in a short time it became a no-holds-barred pursuit.

photo by Cole Hanson

THE SECOND HALF

With the wind at his back, and current moving downstream as well,

The Snapper shifted into high gear.

He told me "I felt like a bullet from that point on."

Fellow Coronado rower Cole Hanson was following the race on foot,

calling down from various bridges like a 3rd base coach in baseball.

Eric put some water between him and his fellow racer,

but Corbaley managed to tighten up that margin.

 

When you're in the "high gears" of rowing, it's not easy or practical to turn your head and look behind you. 

Eric said:  I didn’t look back for much of the return row, but I could hear him behind me - the sound of the water off his bow was what kept me psyched up.

Wind became a factor in the last stretch.

When all the heats were finished,

Eric and Richie had secured first and second place.

RUNNING FROM THE BEAR

Both men said that they'd enjoyed racing against each other, and both felt that having such an opponent pushed them to row harder than they might have in a simple race against the clock.

Richie said I couldn’t have had a better person to race against.

Eric echoed that: I enjoyed racing against him,

and went on to say that "there's a difference between when you’re running through the woods vs. when there’s a bear behind you!"

We sure saw that in the heat between brothers Matthew and Alex Haynes (a.k.a. "Marcello" and "Alessandro").

If there was any history of sibling rivalry between them,
it certainly served them well in their race against each other.
They crossed the line in third and fourth place.

In the Tandem Distance race last year, John Kerschbaum and I experienced first-hand what it was like to have fierce competitors push us to do better.

In our heat we had a tooth-and-nail fight to the finish with Mike Ruffino and Parker Harrison of The Gondola Company of Newport.

Without their aggressive competition, I'm sure John and I would not have finished with the time we did.

(Read more about this race in my post "The Surprise Boys")

YOUR TOUGHEST OPPONENT
Of course there's the competitor next to you, and then there's the one inside you, who doesn't stop talking, even after the race.
Looking back, Richie said:

I learned a lot about myself on that row.

I will forever be my harshest critic, and no matter what, 

I will always be racing against myself. 

Wise words that we can all identify with.

photo by Cole Hanson

Single Distance - complete results

Place Name                               Origin                       Time

1.     Eric “Enrico” Bender           San Diego, CA            19:24.91
2.     Richard “Ricardo” Corbaley Huntington Beach, CA 19:42.15
3.     Alexander “Alessandro” Haynes  Providence, RI     21:16.96
4.     Matthew “Marcello” Haynes Providence, RI            21:47.46
5.     Tim “Amadeo” Coffey         Providence, RI            21:56.8
6.     Cole “Colombo” Hanson      San Diego, CA            22:02.93
7.     Miles “Fabrizio” Disney       Providence, RI            22:11.35
8.     Greg “Rafaello” Coffey        Providence, RI            23:55.72
9.      Bryan “the Mainiac”                                            24:23.39

Five Snaps from the Back

Here are five shots I took with my phone from the back of my

gondola "The Phoenix" this evening in Newport.

It was a summer-like evening out on the water and there were

several boats out enjoying it - unusual for a weeknight in November.

One of my friends from the Gondola Company of Newport.

Steve Elkins glides by on the Wedding Gondola with a photographer

on board to capture the couple's marriage proposal.

Palm trees and reflections.

A bright full moon reflects off the water and shines on the foredeck.

Axe

photos by Konner Boivin

 

Before I left for the U.S. Gondola Nationals on the East Coast,

I met with a couple of my gondoliers, giving them instructions

on a deck replacement project I needed them to work on.

 

Next thing I know, I'm in an Irish pub in Providence and I get

this photo texted to me:

 Some other gondola operators and I had a good laugh as I said
"Yep, looks like Konner chose the right tool for that job".

Now the bad wood has been neatly removed and the boat is ready for
the next step.

I'd provided them with all the right power tools, but you just never know
when you might need a good chopping axe to get the job done right.